Global Warming Solutions

Some innovative solutions to our global warming “problem”:

- Pour concrete caps on all volcanoes to stop them from spewing noxious gasses
- Have everyone open their refrigerator doors and leave them open
- Set off multiple nuclear explosions in space to push the Earth further from the sun
- Fizz all soda pop with nitrous oxide instead of carbon dioxide
- Require that all cars only go down hill (with their engines off)
- Turn around all our air conditioners to point them outwards
- Outlaw all executive jets (including Obama’s, McCain’s and Schwarzenegger’s)
- Kindly ask China and India to regress back into third world countries
- Have all Southern hemisphere peoples move north in their summer and visa versa
- Stop humans from eating any plants (which, as we know, soak up carbon dioxide)
- Build all our house with mud and wattles, not wood
- Reduce the allowable respiration tempo in humans by one-half
- Stop all cows from farting by giving them Gas-X
- Make everyone get their news on the Internet by outlawing newsprint
- Change the calibrations on all thermometers by minus ten degrees
- Make Al Gore "Imperial World Emperor"