Whale Poop

What does happen to whale fecal matter? I would imagine that, after untold millennia of millions of whales, porpoises, seals, walruses, etc. relieving themselves with abandon in our planet's oceans, the Mariana Trench would be chock-a-block full and we would be up to our surfboards in whale poop.

And the EPA lets them do it! A sea-kayaker can't sh*t in his hat and dump it overboard without being fined hundreds of dollars by our coral-reef huggers. Yet a freed Willy can defecate to his heart's content without so much as a Sierra Club reprimand.

Yes, this is meant as a scientific spoof ... but also to demonstrate that we are getting sillier and sillier with our environmental angst.

Signed,
Jacques Cousteau

Francis N. Stein

Mary Shelley was writing fantasy when she wrote the thriller, "Frankenstein". But now such a monumental medical event is well within sight. Let me explain. Medical researchers can take organs and other body parts from cadavers and re-engineer them into working organs and body parts for living patients. It is done thusly: first the organs are decellurized. That is, a variety of solutions (dependent on the body part) are used to dissolve all the cellular matter from these body parts, see: NIH publication. What is left is the extracellular matrix (ECM) scaffold. Then these ECM structures will be placed in a nutrient bath along with stem cells extracted from the bone marrow of the target patient. In a matter of days, these stem cells re-arrange themselves into the muscles, nerves, blood vessels, etc. of what once was these body parts ... only they are, in effect, brand spanking new body parts (hearts, kidneys, eyes, stomachs, etc.) for the target patient. And these parts are a genetic match for this target patient ... with no chance of rejection. Truly remarkable!

Now I know this sounds like science fiction, but it is not a hoax. Yes, such remarkable developments are just getting started, but so far a new bioengineered bronchus was grown and installed in a woman in Guatemala (without rejection) and new skeletal muscle segments have also been bioengineered (see: all things stem cell). Clearly, this process is now very complex and fraught with setbacks, but it is, nevertheless, possible ... and it is probably only a matter of years before people can order new body parts from bioengineering factories. And, if this be the case, why shouldn't Francis N. Stein be able, at some future point, to order his twin to be created out of an assemblage of body parts or, even, as a whole? This is the Mary Shelley connection. I am intrigued by how life might be breathed into such a construct (a bolt of lightning?) and what might be the thought contents of a bioengineered brain (tabula rasa?). But (bio)science marches on ... trampling over such seeming monstrous obstacles. And yes, such a possibility raises a myriad of ethical and spiritual issues, but it now seems quite likely to this observer that our grandchildren will need to deal with such matters -- hopefully not with torches and pitchforks.